Do you remember when you were pregnant with your first child; and people would tell you, “You better relax as much as you can before that baby gets here”. It’s like they had something like that to say for everything. “You better sleep now”, “You better enjoy the nice quiet house while you can”.
I would always just kind of giggle and think to myself that I would still be able to do those things as a mom. Can all of us moms just have a good laugh at that please? Now, most days I’m a Mombie that never gets to relax in my mad house.
As a stay at home mom, I run on coffee and tantrums. Don’t get me wrong we have our cute moments, and they make every melt down worth while. But sometimes we just need a break. Let me add to that… We need a break WITHOUT people trying to make us feel like a bad mom.
“You don’t need a break if you don’t work!”
I literally rolled my eyes as I typed that. I’m not gonna lie, every time I hear people say this about SAHM’s, I think of that sponge bob meme that is mocking people first, and throat punching them second. Especially if it comes from someone who can’t relate. Some people really just don’t know what it takes to be a mom that doesn’t get a break, not even to poop. It’s not for the faint of heart.
Being a mom IS work! From the minute I open my eyes I am off and running. I change diapers, make breakfast, clean up the after-breakfast-messes, play referee, clean up spills, kiss boo boos and give baths ALL before lunch.
I’d like to know if the people that think SAHM’s don’t need a break have ever had to chase kids around the house while brushing their teeth, try to go to the bathroom with an audience, or have one bite of their favorite food or candy and have to give it to the toddler staring deeply into your soul.
It’s Not Just Physical Labor!
Not only do we need a break from constantly being on the go, but we need a mental time out as well. As women, we are already emotionally unstable most of the time. On top of dealing with our own stuff, we deal with theirs too. Some days we can get lucky and not have too many issues, but other days I just want to throw the whole day away and start over. Between all the mood swings and temper tantrums, the melt downs over who had what toy first, and the screaming over the dog sitting on their baby blanket (that’s a real thing around here by the way) it gets overwhelming.
All day, every day, I only have conversations with tiny versions of myself. I love talking to my kids and teaching them things, but sometimes I need some adult interaction. It can get really lonely being a stay at home mom, and sometimes even a little depressing. But you can’t tell people that because then you are a bad mom. People are even quick to get off of the phone with you; and rightfully so after hearing all of the screaming and random outburst of “NO, DON’T DO THAT!!!”. It’s like my kids know,they wait until I’m on the phone to be as naughty as they can be!
I wonder how many SAHM’s moms have been shamed for wanting some “me time”. I am going to take a wild guess and say all. In case you are wondering, almost all of the comments made to us make us feel guilty. One of my favorites that I hear is, “I wish I could stay home and relax all day.” Me too buddy! I want to be able to clean the house without stopping a million times to get toys back to their rightful owners and get kids out of the toilet. I would like to go to the bathroom alone. I’d love to be able to sit on the couch and watch Netflix in peace.
If you don’t like staying at home with the kids get a real job…..
No! Just because I would like these things, doesn’t mean that I prefer it to taking care of my kids. Crazy huh? Sounds like I have been complaining this whole time doesn’t it ? Well if you are a stay at home mom, then you understand what I mean. As for the people who aren’t- let me splain something to you.
I’ve bounced back and forth between having a “real job” and staying at home with my kids, and I would much rather be at home with my crazy kids, watching all the new mile stones and getting all the lovins than being around people who don’t even know my name all day.
The next time you hear a mom complaining or venting about staying at home, try to give hear a listening ear without judgement. I promise you, she just needs to mentally reset. Maybe even offer to stay with the kids so she can go get a coffee or go to the grocery store. It really doesn’t have to be a whole spa day to make us happy. For me, I am okay with a simple car ride with MY music as loud as I want it to be.
I am not putting working moms down as I know not everybody has the option to stay home, I am just saying that I can have a rough day and want some time to myself without the comments. People complain about their jobs all the time, but they still have to work. They may even love their job but some days, it just gets stressful. Mommin is a full time gig with as much over time as the kids wanna give us.